This past year has been eye-opening in a number of ways. I've barely drawn anything, but I sowed tons of self confidence and seeded dissension of the necessary. The straw which broke my back was seeing my boyfriend's brother die unexpectedly on Christmas from brain cancer he was unaware of. Having seen him only two hours prior I spent the past week terrified of the normalcy he expressed probably up to the moment. Thinking why, then, should I care so much about what others want? When I could be dead two hours from now, and on the chance there is such a thing as an afterlife, regret all the things I never did. I may not have the means to do as much as my peers, but I can try, and if I fail, at least they can say I did something.
Started looking at my life and determining what it was I no longer cared for. Packed some things away, and as soon as I am done detoxifying my personal environment I am going to focus on art again. Hard. One more year and I no longer have to work specifically in service of paying tuition (on top of living expenses). Time will open up. I will make it open.